As is probably typical with INTJs, I have a great career, and am generally happy in life, but I totally suck at dating. I’m in my 30s and have had a handful of short relationships, but nothing that’s ever felt meaningful to me. I think it’s a combo of too-high intelligence standards and feeling like the games and flirting that inevitably come with meeting someone new are a bit foolish. I’m the type of person who would love to fast-forward to the watching-TV-in-sweatpants-and-having-deep-conversations-on-the-couch phase, but it’s so hard to get to that point without turning someone off in the process. I feel like I go out with guys and have a hard time with the BS flirty smalltalk of dating, and talking about “real” things makes me a girl-next-door friend rather than a romantic prospect. Frankly, romance baffles me, and chivalry makes me uncomfortable. I’m decently attractive and don’t really have a problem finding a guy to sleep with, if I feel like it , but trying to be “sexy” or girly and coquettish has always felt like a ridiculous act. For my fellow INTJ women who have found lasting love, can you offer any advice?
These are the results i got. Any idea how to deal with his spontaneity vs ISTJs communicate in a direct and straightforward way. They are specific and oriented to details, and often communicate primarily to move a task along. The ISTJ typically has a great memory for detail and has a vast storehouse of practical, factual information.
NT Conceptualist Mating Conceptualists make wonderful mates-they are loyal, uncomplaining, warmly and creatively sexual, honest, and aboveboard in their communications, and not in the least possessive.
Conceptualists make wonderful mates-they are loyal, uncomplaining, warmly and creatively sexual, honest, and aboveboard in their communications, and not in the least possessive. But for all the satisfactions they bring to a marriage, establishing romantic relationships with a Conceptualist usually requires much more energy and time than with the other temperaments.
Even the extraverted Conceptualists, the ENTJs and the ENTPs , although apparantly easy to get know, are difficult to get close to, for their personality structure is characteristically complex and, at times, hidden from view. Another temperament may believe that they know or are close to Conceptualist, when in fact, the Conceptualist has carefully and cautiously controlled which parts of his or her personality he has chosen to reveal to other. This results in pleasant surprises for the Conceptualit’s mate as sometimes these other, deeper facets of a Conceptualists personality may not be revealed for years.
NT Conceptualist Courtship Conceptualists do not care to spend much of their time or energy making social connections. Not only do they find the rituals of dating slightly absurd, but they seem to have more difficulty than other temperaments engaging in play, which makes dating usually something of a trial for them. While the NTs will attempt to cover their lack of social skills by clowning around, they tend, on the whole, to be rather serious and cerebral, enjoying discussions of esoteric topics full of technical details everything you wanted to know about chemical bonding-and more , a pastime which the other temperaments are apt to find dreadfully dull.
For most NTs, intellectual development seems to proceed at a faster rate than does the social development-they are often math whizzes and science nerds in high school and college-and they tend to prefer thier books and computers to football games and prom dates. But even in young adulthood, Conceptualists remain somewhat stiff and awkward when it comes to dating, and many show almost no interest in developing social graces or in being popular. Once in a college or business environment, extraverted Conceptualists might decide quite deliberately to date around for the fun of it, and some might experiment with sexual practices.
But when establishing more and lasting relationships they are not likely to be given into impulse. Indeed, and as a matter of personal ethics, Conceptualists usually regard sexual promiscuity with distate.
INFJ-INTJ: The Dark Horse of Ideal INFJ Relationships
Men Extroverted VS Introverted Women are more likely to be extroverted while men are more likely to be introverted. This makes sense as women generally do get energy from socializing and being around people while men are generally okay being alone more so than women. Men evolved where they were the providers and hunters for the family while women stayed home with the children and other families. Women have children and are biologically geared more towards children than men.
Famous INFPs at IDR Labs: The site for individual differences research.
These uncommon jewels of the personality spectrum make up less than one percent of the population. This is not surprising considering how few of them there are. This led me to do some research on these unique little snowflake personalities. What I discovered was both fascinating and inspiring. Who knows, you might just be one of them. They are known for being great verbal communicators. To most friends and acquaintances, the INFJ type seems very sociable and extroverted.
This can cause confusion when INFJs become overwhelmed and must withdraw from people.
One more step
Before a Relationship While ISTJs are generally well respected by their peers for their integrity and accomplishments in school or career, they tend to form intimate relationships relatively later in life. They are not particularly attuned to people’s feelings and may have difficulty venturing into relationships. In addition, they tend to only pursue relationships when it is on their internal list of things to do.
When this occurs, they may consciously make an effort to meet potential mates.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download For those of you not familiar with Penelope Trunk, she is a very successful entrepreneur, blogger, and is the author of the book Brazen Careerist.. If you have read her blog, you know she is about as no nonsense a writer as they come. She has built a fantastic community of readers with her wit, humor, and writing style.
ISTJs are introverted and some partners find this to be challenging. The ISTJ often requires encouragement and patience to share with their partners. Another challenge can be found in the fact that the ISTJ personality often believe that their approach to things is the right approach. They are not rattled by constructive criticism, however, and will use logic and facts to justify their point of view. Quite often the ISTJ personality believes that any disagreement with their point of view simply means that their opponent simply do not have all the facts.
They can find it difficult to understand opinions which are different from their own. Their arrogance can damage their partners self esteem. Of course, all of this is dependent upon the personality of the partner with the more sensitive personalities being the most likely to suffer. The ISTJ is not good at sensing the feelings and emotions of others and this includes their romantic partner.
They often find discussing their feelings openly to be difficult. This does not mean that they do not have strong feelings.
INTJ Women: A Rare Myers-Briggs Category
January 4, by philipbullitthughes For the ISFJ—the quiet, devoted, caring, unobtrusive Guardian—dating has always presented its own set of challenges. For them, tradition is highly valued. Thus, the end goal of a romance should almost always be marriage. Casual dating is fine.
If the INFJ female to INTJ male is a dark horse, then the unicorn is the INTJ female to INFJ male.
SP Experiencer to NF Idealist Generally the Experiencers’ excitement and sensuousness dovetail nicely with the enthusiasm and the romanticism of the NF Idealists , and they can be intrigued by the NFs spirituality and sense of personal ethics, so different from their own hedonism. However, chances are that Experiencers will grow puzzled by, and slightly cynical about, the Idealist’s moral delicacy, by their need for personal enlightenment, as well as by what Experiencers sometimes call the NFs’ “airy fairy” soulfulness and flights of fancy.
SP Experiencer to NT Conceptualist Experiencers can feel right at home with the Conceptualist’s natural pragmatism, irreverence, and love of tools, while they can be impressed by the NTs’ theoretical interests, so different from their own practical, tactical grasp of things. On the other hand, it sometimes happens that Experiencers grow impatient wiht a Conceptualists desire for extensive knowledge.
And they can feel resentful and annoyed of the NT’s calm, detached life of the mind, as if their own SP gift of physical pleasure is somehow inferior when viewed from the NT’s abstract heights. Two SPs live primarily in the same world, the world of external, physical reality, speaking the same language of concrete objects, and they also share each other’s childlike love of fun and excitement.
Two SPs have so many interests and activities in common-travel, sports, parties, shows, clothes, and so on-that they can come together as playmates in a way not possible with persons of other temperament. The only problem is, and it is a major one, that with both partners living and playing so hard-going so fast in the same direction-they can quickly exhaust each other and lose interest.
This pattern of two Experiencers lighting up the sky brightly and then burning out and falling apart is a familiar one.
ISTJ Personality: At Work, in Life, and in Love
This particular Myers-Briggs personality type is defined as being introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging. INFJ is a rare but intriguing personality to come across and even more unusual to find in the male gender. In fact, it is estimated that only about one to three percent of the population exhibits INFJ.
Good read and I agree, although I still think the Myers Briggs is a good tool for very general info regarding personality traits. My husband and I took it years ago in a marriage class, and we both had taken it previously as well.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing. They often have their head in the clouds. Love their sense of humor, though. Depends on how mature they are. Immature, undeveloped ENTPs can be a pain in the ass. Demiurgic and always full of incandescent ideas. However, talks loquaciously and sometimes, malarkey.